it's been a long looonngg while..
who ever still reads this already pronounced dead blog..
im back to revive it!

that aside...
it's the end of may now...
my OFFICIAL graduation was last week..
19may2010..
also weiling's birthday..
coincidence huh.. when i said last yr... who knows that my grad day will fall on her bday..
it did in the end...

thoughts on graduation..
mixed feelings...
was kinda half happy half sad half this half that..
happy to have finally graduated with a diploma..
heck.. now im an official diploma holder...
sad to leave all my frens since we're all heading to our different paths now...
the only way..is whether we'll really ever keep in contact.... at all..

one negative thing during my graduation was......
why in the world was it the evening session?!?!?! 5pm?!!??
well, it ended at about 630.. quite fast i must say..
thought it'll drag for superrr long...
and since it's in the evening session, i hardly had enough time to take photos!
like.. seriously... missed out alot of ppl.. coz everyone was everywhere... literally..
and it was hard to find em coz they've either went off alr or just lost somewhere in school...
and worse.. i only managed to take photos with a few tchers.. like.. 4?
the most upsetting thing was..i didnt get to take photo with my beloved personal mentor!
funny thing... when we were all exiting the auditorium, she saw me and congratulated me...
and that was the last i saw her.... how sad can this beeeee...
hai.. maybe nxt time, juz gotta meet up with my other 3 bffs and have lunch with our tchers in nyp.... hopefully... that'll happen...sometime......

now that ive graduated from nyp...... all the good things start appearing..
like when i was back in yr1... food republic was renovated to koufu..
now.... when i've left, all 3 canteens start to get renovated and other renovations going on too...
oh well.. it'll take me some time to start to miss nyp...

nxt wk'll be my last concert with nypso..
after that... i guess i wont be around nyp anymore...
will definitely miss all e times ive spent in nyp..
3 yrs of fun and laughter, hair-pulling situations, stressing here and there, panicking here and there...
and of course, my section.... never would i be able to know the great and funloving ppl in there..
how i wish they were my classmates too... haha..
but the one thing that i hoped not to happen.. may have started to surface alr...
i just hope.. that they'll be able to pull through...
if it ends up to what i think may be.. then so be it...
ive no control over it... seems inevitable...

oh well, all i can do now....
is to enjoy my final moments in nyp.... and nypso...
and then.. it'll be another new chapter ahead for me.....

looks like blogger's back to normal..
i hope it'll be normal all e way..
haha.. no more irritating glitches..

going back to philippines brings alot of memories..
and things have changed so much..
like alot..
and i really wanna salute to all the drivers there..
superb driving skills.. hahaha..
aside from that.. i managed to see my mother's side cousins..
like a reunion day.. but for a different purpose....
8th sept is a day.. i'll never forget...
the day that i lost my grandmother..
the last i saw her and spoke to her was thru webcam... briefly.. coz of connection problems..
that was either beginning of this yr or last..
cant rmb.. but it's been a while since ive seen her personally..
now.. it's lola no more..
no more lola to give the warmth hugs, to give your favourite food,
to show you your cute photos of the past, to chat wif you, to care for and protect you, etc..
i'll nv forget the times i spent with her.....
12th sept is the burial which concluded that i cant see lola physically anymore..
the last viewing was the trigger to the tears..
that kept flowing non stop..
i just couldnt bear to see my lola go..
seeing our names taken down frm the coffin, the whole family taking a last look of her, the closing of the coffin, the throwing of flowers,
the descent of the coffin 7feet down before finally sealing the coffin and burying it..
tears juz kept flowing and i wished time could just rewind..
to the times that she was still the strong lola i knew.. and that i could talk to her at least..
but now.. it's all over..
one regret is that i wasnt able to be with her, nor even be able to talk to her in person..
it was all too sudden..
as my frens say.. she's safe with the lord now..
as for now, i'll need some time to heal....

i miss you alot lola... =(

so who still comes to this oh so very dead blog??

hmm..
blogger's layout is so messed up like no one's business..
so i'll be updating once a while..
once in a blue moon maybe..

tmr's e start of my final year project...
feeling.... nervous/anxious/excited/abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz...
e unexpected feeling....
if i get into a good grp .. or a not that good grp..
a proj tt i am slightly familiar with.. or a proj tt eventually makes me braindead by e end of it..
all depends.. on my luck.. tmr..
tmr.. is e day.. tt i'll nv be seeing half or rather 2/3 of my class
till our graduation next yr..
which will be like...... 6 to 9 months....
yes..
very long..
our study semester has officially ended last friday..
after all e countless of <8 hrs of slp..
toiling for tests and proj..
and ending our sem with such a disaster paper..
which leads me to think i may get my first C grade after all....
but anyway..
this means that we would not have to study anymore.........
all the way till next yr........
till e nxt time we need to study for any particular exam.....
exams no more!!!~~~~~~~

it'll be a different feeling in sch tmr..
no longer seeing the familiar faces..
i hope all goes well..
for e dbt ppl who'll be on attachent and fyp tmr...

reason y i didnt update...
coz of blogger's weird problem and also bz wif sch work..
e problem's still there though....
and facebook's lagging like mad too..
all coz of those DoS attacks. blahblah..

so this wk is e final wk..
wk 17.. before heading off for exams
and tts e end of story for my final study semester..
to which i think..
is worse or e worst sem ive ever had.....

2 modules are down..
database and proj...
tried my best to catch up ever since i came back from kerkrade/amsterdam....
but i think..i still felt abit lost somehow..
to e point.. that i juz wanna go back to holland and enjoy life there.......
retests were like crap and
project's such a nightmare.....
and im not sure if im e one who's thinking too much
but i think.. this has gotta be e worst presentation ive ever done in
my whole 3 yrs in nyp...
and i dunno whether it's my fault or stuff but watever's done is done..
i juz hope for good grades for this ending semester
and start off fyp wif a good note...
shall find smth to cheer myself up..
till then...........

so this is e part my gd frens are gonna hate...
i'll be away for 10dayssss... 19th to 29th..
off to amsterdam and kerkrade!!~~~
so my blog's gonna rot even longer..
hahaha..

packing mania since ystd..
finally packed finish and ready to go..
feel bad abandoning my grp for e proj...
i think im gonna have double e work to do when i come back..
oh well..
i really hope i can maintain this sem.. my final study sem...

i hope all turns out well..
saturday's THEEE impt day...

till then..
blog will be revived again in another 10days.. =)

yes it's been months since ive updated..
many things've been happening.
sometimes, no idea wat to update..
oh well...
finally time for a breather..


19june2009..
OP2009..
10th anniversary concert.
a concert that'll be etched in the junior's minds..
that everyone will never forget..
and also,
mr clarence tan's last concert with orchid park..
time flies.. 7yrs.. with mr tan..
many would hate goodbyes..
this is the 3rd concert that ive experienced..
conductors leaving bands.
trust me. it's a sad experience to get..
with the thinking that, it'll literally be the last..
and having a whole new environment the nxt time round..
onward & persevere.. the last he conducted..
now i'll feel weird not seeing him up on stage conducting us..
he's been the one who cared for us, guided us and seen us grow..
till the day we graduate..
it'll no longer be e same atmosphere now...
times when he'll scold, get stressed, jokes wif us and stuff..
i wont be able to experience it with such conductor anymore..

thanks mr tan, for your guidance through e years..

for your support, encouragement and inspiring us to be good musicians..

you've been the best conductor i've ever been with..

it's sad to see you leave this band..

8yrs seems like a small number..

but it cant be compared to the countless of experience handling our band..

thank you.. very very much..

we'll all miss you..

do take care in future endeavours..

im falling sick soon..
gotten e sorethroat..
geez..
2 weeks of holiday left..
nnnooooooooooooo..
just when im about to enjoy the holidays..
sch has to start again..
spoiler..
geezzzz..
sicksicksicksicksicksick...

staring at the empty space.
thinking of what to write in this post.
thinking of what's been happening.
why did things have to become like this.
the assumptions.
the contradictions.
the avoidance.
the not-bothered looks.
enemies?
strangers?
best friends?
just friends?
there's so many thoughts going through each and everyone's minds.
it can be taxing. confusing. all the -ings..

when exactly do you want it to end?

it's all over...
so over...

it's holidays.
one month.
i need a job.
im gonna die tmr.
11am.
wish me luck..